I have come to a sad realization...
I really don't like psychology very much. I love my English classes, I love my AP Environmental Science class, but I cannot seem to get myself to happily do the work for psych. Its interesting enough, sure, but I'm not interested enough to want to study it every day.
I fall asleep in class for god's sake's. I'll muster my way through the second half, I'm sure, but Jesus, man. This class just does not work for me.
On the other hand, I have spent all day writing and editing and all that wonderfulness.
I need free writing rehab. I have been writing like a mad person for the past two weeks, wanting to shirk duties for the stuff. I contemplated crying tonight so that I didn't have to go to dance and could pretend to study but actually write more. Who does that?
An ADDICT, that's who.
I need serious help.
I mean, I want to write. I love writing. I might do it as a profession. But honestly, guys, this is an awful way to get things done. Not studying, not sleeping, avoiding friends, avoiding responsibilities, just because I want to write.
Is this how authors get sometimes? Kind of crazy?
If it is, I mean, by all means, I'd love to be told I act like an author. But otherwise, this madness needs to stop. Because its going to start affecting the rest of my life, and that is not very good.
Well, life keeps going, I suppose. We'll just see where my bout of mania takes me next. Because I have no doubt in me that its mania anymore. I'm laughing at sad things, I'm being manipulative, I'm hyper, I'm hypersexual, I'm writing like crazy...
Mania it is. Damn you excessive happiness. Look what you're doing to me.
Best/worst part of mania? If I don't study for psych I'll probably not do well on the test tomorrow, but I honestly don't care at the moment. I don't care about anything but writing.
Dear God(s) whatever or wherever, please help me.
And may they help you, too, for wasting so much time reading this crazy blog.
Still adore you.
Love,
Grace
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