Day 24: Snow daze and book babies

I feel like I should do work on these snow days.

But the bitter cold of the north is less than appetizing for good work. Its more just a dreary, laid back day type day feeling.

Yet, I must get some work. Be it schoolwork or Sunshine Girl or Finding Eve Montez.

I certainly hope I get something done. I've only written plot ideas for Finding Eve Montez, and I have to write in an entire perspective throughout the book and a funeral for Sunshine Girl, so a good 15,000 more words O_O.

I have shit tons of work.

Well, writing wise. I do.

I don't quite have a deadline, but I have a mental deadline for Sunshine Girl. I want it done before I go to Disney World for spring break, and I want to be sending Blue off to agents by then. So April. April is hopefully when things will start kicking into gear and such :) I'm so excited. I hope it all works out well.

I want to help pay for my college. I want to start making a name for myself. I just want to do stuff and have it matter, dammit. I will make it matter.

I have gotten a lot of ambition in the past few months. I'm not sure if its good or bad.

I just feel that storytelling is such an art form, and though I would gladly do it for free, I'd love to help my parents pay for college. I'd love to not have to take out so many loans. I'd love to have my pen name known throughout the world.

Sorry to bum you out if you already didn't know, but Grace Jordan is my pen-name, not my real name. But i intend to use it in my writing and hopefully, get literary esteem with it.

Cocky, maybe. I don't know. I'm not saying I'm the best. But I have things to say and I feel they're important and it would benefit people to hear them. I have things to say about issues of the world, like depression, abuse, homosexuality, suicide. And I feel they're really important things to say. This is why I find Blue, Sunshine Girl, and Finding Eve Montez so important to me. Because they're not just wholly some story I made up; these are real things that happen to real people. I may be entranced by horror and gore and violence, but its not the stuff that feels so real that it gets to you. Its the people, its the reality, its the true lives touched by these things.

And I just feel that maybe, just maybe, these stories may raise awareness about the things I care so much about. Maybe I'm not an expert on abuse, or homosexuality, or even depression even though I have been a victim of it, but I seem to be pretty good at making people feel other people, to feel how they feel, to feel their pain. To make people simply feel.

I dunno. I wish my babies luck as I finish them and begin carting them off to agents and then to publishers. I hope, sincerely, that they can make a difference.

I just want them to make someone think or feel, maybe just for a second. Then it would be worth it.

I just want my book children to make a difference in this world, and to matter. Isn't that what every sort of mother wants?

Wish my babies luck, you.

And maybe they'll touch you one day too.

Love,

Grace